Your First Anal Toy: What to Know Before You Go

If you’re here, you’re probably feeling curious and that’s a great place to start. Whether you’re brand new to anal play or simply ready to bring a toy into the mix, this guide is for you. There's a lot of outdated advice and unnecessary awkwardness out there, but the truth is: anal play can be safe, satisfying, and even empowering with the right info, the right tools, and the right mindset.

Start small and stay soft. When it comes to first-time toys, gentle curves and narrow shapes are your best bet. Look for beginner plugs or slim beads made from body-safe silicone flexible enough to move with you, and firm enough to give you control. The tip should be tapered for easy entry, and the toy should feel unintimidating from the moment you hold it in your hand.

No matter what toy you choose, it must have a flared base. That wide base (or a retrieval ring) is there to stop the toy from going too far in not because you’re doing it wrong, but because your body is just built that way. It’s a safety essential, not a suggestion.

Lube is non-negotiable. Unlike vaginal or oral play, the anus doesn’t produce natural lubrication. That means the right lube isn’t just for comfort it’s crucial for safety. Water-based lubes are a great all-rounder, especially if you're using silicone toys. Silicone-based lubes last longer and work beautifully for extended play. Whichever you choose, apply generously, and then apply more. You want the toy to glide, not grip.

Take your time then slow it down even more. Anal play is all about going at your own pace. Give your body time to adjust. Breathe deeply. Add more lube. Let the toy sit at the entrance and allow your muscles to relax before inserting. There's no rush, no finish line, and no single "right" way to do it.

Cleanliness can boost confidence. That doesn’t mean you need a full prep routine or anything clinical just wash your toy before and after each use with warm water and a gentle, unscented toy cleaner. You can also use a condom over the toy for even easier clean-up. Emptying your bowels before play can also help reduce anxiety and create a more relaxed experience, but again it’s all about what makes you feel most comfortable.

If you’re exploring with a partner, make sure communication is part of the pleasure. Consent, safety, comfort, and check-ins are essential. Be open about what feels good, what feels weird, what’s off-limits, and what you’re curious about. A simple “slower?” or “that feels nice” can make the experience more connected, more responsive, and way more enjoyable.

And remember curiosity is a good enough reason to try something. You don’t need to be a certain type of person. You don’t need to identify a certain way. You don’t need to fall in love with it after the first try. You’re allowed to explore. You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to discover what pleasure means to you, one step at a time.

When you’re ready to try, we’ve got you covered. Our Beginner Anal Toy Collection includes soft, safe, beautifully designed toys made for first-time exploration. Pair it with a lube that works for you, go slow, and remember: the best kind of play is the kind that makes you feel good.